A lengthy silence ensues, as Lan Wangji struggles to answer the question truthfully without revealing far more than he would like to about himself to a woman he likes well enough, but with whom he is not notably close. The first time I drank alcohol, it was an expression of grief so deep I thought I would die, and the wine made me burn myself so that my body would match the body of the dead man I loved makes for poor casual conversation.

"The effect depends on my state of mind at the time," he says, finally.