"It was, but—it was clear to me very quickly that it was a different person. Shen Yuan acts nothing like him, even when he's trying. But that's not my point."
Everyone in Luo Binghe's world knows this backstory, but they also know what Luo Binghe did to Shen Qingqiu in return—well, some of it—so no one ever bothers to express sympathy for him over it. It's nice to hear, even though it wasn't the reason he brought this up.
"My mother taught me to be courteous and respectful. She advised me that those qualities, over time, would win out against petty cruelty. I knew Shen Qingqiu hated me, but I believed that if I worked hard and never complained, he would see in time that I was—if not talented—at least industrious and diligent. I was so stupid," he says viciously. It's hard not to be disgusted with his younger self, especially after a few months ago when everyone saw him like that.
"It took until I was fifteen to understand that he didn't care what I did—he just wanted me dead. He was no wise master attempting to teach me a difficult but worthwhile lesson. He was a petty, sadistic bully. And I couldn't do anything about it, because his power over me—over Qing Jing Peak—was absolute. It didn't matter if I trained hard or followed all the rules—all that mattered was that he had the authority, and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to me. So I stopped trying to please him, and I started trying to gain as much power as possible—so much that no one could do that to me ever again. And I succeeded." He exhales a shaky breath, his mind swimming. It's hard not to remember what he said to Claudius—all the good in me was beaten out by Shen Qingqiu or burnt in the fires of the Abyss. Somehow, speaking with Claudius under a truth spell revealed things to Luo Binghe that still vex and consume him.
"But with Galahad—I mean, he wasn't much of a threat. But he was trying. He wanted to hurt me, and—I couldn't touch him, because Shen Yuan cares about him. There was no amount of power that would let me defend myself, because I couldn't. Even though I was stronger—it was like being a pathetic, powerless child. Nina, truly, I hated it."
no subject
Everyone in Luo Binghe's world knows this backstory, but they also know what Luo Binghe did to Shen Qingqiu in return—well, some of it—so no one ever bothers to express sympathy for him over it. It's nice to hear, even though it wasn't the reason he brought this up.
"My mother taught me to be courteous and respectful. She advised me that those qualities, over time, would win out against petty cruelty. I knew Shen Qingqiu hated me, but I believed that if I worked hard and never complained, he would see in time that I was—if not talented—at least industrious and diligent. I was so stupid," he says viciously. It's hard not to be disgusted with his younger self, especially after a few months ago when everyone saw him like that.
"It took until I was fifteen to understand that he didn't care what I did—he just wanted me dead. He was no wise master attempting to teach me a difficult but worthwhile lesson. He was a petty, sadistic bully. And I couldn't do anything about it, because his power over me—over Qing Jing Peak—was absolute. It didn't matter if I trained hard or followed all the rules—all that mattered was that he had the authority, and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to me. So I stopped trying to please him, and I started trying to gain as much power as possible—so much that no one could do that to me ever again. And I succeeded." He exhales a shaky breath, his mind swimming. It's hard not to remember what he said to Claudius—all the good in me was beaten out by Shen Qingqiu or burnt in the fires of the Abyss. Somehow, speaking with Claudius under a truth spell revealed things to Luo Binghe that still vex and consume him.
"But with Galahad—I mean, he wasn't much of a threat. But he was trying. He wanted to hurt me, and—I couldn't touch him, because Shen Yuan cares about him. There was no amount of power that would let me defend myself, because I couldn't. Even though I was stronger—it was like being a pathetic, powerless child. Nina, truly, I hated it."