Nina Zenik (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ravkanwitch) wrote2023-12-13 12:25 pm
ravkanwitch) wrote2023-12-13 12:25 pm
[prose: an unexpected Sadmas visitor]
Nina has gotten wind that some of the mansion residents have been seeing loved ones and familiar ones today. Something in her heart beats hopeful, strong – and she's dressed in one of her most flattering dresses after running back to her room to change. She desperately hopes that when she turns towards the window and looks outside, she'll see a familiar figure in the distance. She'll run to him as fast as she can, at which point he'll sweep her into his arms. Matthias. His death was so sudden, so quick, that they barely had any time to say goodbye or exchange any last words. She couldn't even lay him to rest immediately; instead she had to cart his body through the wilds of Fjerda and bury him in a snowstorm. It would only be fair if Matthias was also able to visit. Even just for a day, even for a moment...
She looks out the window and her heart leaps into her throat when she sees someone dressed all in black gazing out at the lake, his back turned to her – but the shape of the figure is all wrong. He's too short, not bulky enough. Matthias doesn't wear black. Her heart falls back into the pit of her stomach as she heads outside, carefully walking up behind him.
"Brekker?" She asks, not bothering to hide the incredulous and scornful tone in her voice. "Kaz Brekker? Saints, could they not just cut me a break here?"
"Good to see you too, Zenik," he says, turning and meeting her eyes. His voice is as gravelly as always. He seems unperturbed by her reaction or the sudden relocation. He was probably doing something morally grey in the grittiest part of Ketterdam before being whisked away. "Were you expecting someone else?"
"I thought... if anyone else came– and it is possible for people to come from after they've died, you know, I've seen it – so I just thought–" Tears prick the corners of her eyes for a second but now she's angry now. Furious. "At least Inej! Or Jesper! I should have at least gotten to spend more time with either of them! This isn't fair."
He looks at her, expression level and calm. It always pisses her off when he does that. "Since when have we ever dealt in fair? With everything we've been through together–"
"No!" She yells at him. "You aren't even a friend. Don't look at me like that. You wouldn't claim me as your friend either. When Matthias was locked away in Hellgate, I was crying and begging for a year for your help to break him out. The minute you had a reason to, a need to do so for your purposes, it was simple enough. The only one you care about is Inej and-- I just--" She lets out a little scream of frustration.
He crosses his arms and patiently listens, holding his cane in one arm. He rests the cane on the ground again when she's finished, stretching out his right leg, the one that he always favors. "Are you done?"
"Yes," she says, quietly and petulantly.
"Nina," Kaz says with a sigh, using her first name for once. "I'm not here permanently. Maybe there's a reason it wasn't Matthias. Or anyone else from our crew." She stands silent with her lips pressed stubbornly together, glaring at him. "I can't help with your personal problems. I can't meet and charm all of your friends. I'm not Inej or Jesper. Do you need any merchants swindled? Legs broken?"
She can't tell if he's joking or not but she stubbornly shakes her head. He raises an eyebrow.
"No," she says, with a sigh. "I can take care of myself. I helped fight off an army of the undead a few weeks ago. You would've enjoyed it. Violence without repercussions. Or -- maybe not. I think you like the repercussions."
"You can take care of yourself," he repeats her words, letting them hang in the air for a moment. "You don't need us."
"But I miss everyone," Nina says, letting him be included in that for once. This familiar feeling towards him is comforting; the nostalgia of Ketterdam, frustration, anger, grudging respect, and perhaps the tiniest touch of hatred. Kaz Brekker is a complicated man and dredges up some complicated feelings.
"Missing is different than needing."
Nina sighs. He's right. As usual. She doesn't need them. She doesn't even need Matthias anymore, she realizes, with a start. The painful gaping hole in her heart is still there but it's been papered over. Another visit from Matthias would have possibly torn it open again. "Do you want a tour of this place?" She asks, extending an olive branch for her previous yelling and insults. She's sure he doesn't care, though; the Bastard of the Barrel has heard much worse.
"Lead the way."
"Don't steal anything," she says, eyeing him as he spreads his hands out as if to say who me?. She starts walking and then whirls around again. "And don't murder anyone. Or even maim. Okay?" He raises an eyebrow again. No promises. "At least only a light maiming and only if they deserve it," she adds.
They walk back towards the mansion together in silence for a few minutes. "No mourners," he says out of the blue, so quietly that she can barely hear him.
"No funerals," she replies, the familiar saying catching in her throat just the slightest.
She looks out the window and her heart leaps into her throat when she sees someone dressed all in black gazing out at the lake, his back turned to her – but the shape of the figure is all wrong. He's too short, not bulky enough. Matthias doesn't wear black. Her heart falls back into the pit of her stomach as she heads outside, carefully walking up behind him.
"Brekker?" She asks, not bothering to hide the incredulous and scornful tone in her voice. "Kaz Brekker? Saints, could they not just cut me a break here?"
"Good to see you too, Zenik," he says, turning and meeting her eyes. His voice is as gravelly as always. He seems unperturbed by her reaction or the sudden relocation. He was probably doing something morally grey in the grittiest part of Ketterdam before being whisked away. "Were you expecting someone else?"
"I thought... if anyone else came– and it is possible for people to come from after they've died, you know, I've seen it – so I just thought–" Tears prick the corners of her eyes for a second but now she's angry now. Furious. "At least Inej! Or Jesper! I should have at least gotten to spend more time with either of them! This isn't fair."
He looks at her, expression level and calm. It always pisses her off when he does that. "Since when have we ever dealt in fair? With everything we've been through together–"
"No!" She yells at him. "You aren't even a friend. Don't look at me like that. You wouldn't claim me as your friend either. When Matthias was locked away in Hellgate, I was crying and begging for a year for your help to break him out. The minute you had a reason to, a need to do so for your purposes, it was simple enough. The only one you care about is Inej and-- I just--" She lets out a little scream of frustration.
He crosses his arms and patiently listens, holding his cane in one arm. He rests the cane on the ground again when she's finished, stretching out his right leg, the one that he always favors. "Are you done?"
"Yes," she says, quietly and petulantly.
"Nina," Kaz says with a sigh, using her first name for once. "I'm not here permanently. Maybe there's a reason it wasn't Matthias. Or anyone else from our crew." She stands silent with her lips pressed stubbornly together, glaring at him. "I can't help with your personal problems. I can't meet and charm all of your friends. I'm not Inej or Jesper. Do you need any merchants swindled? Legs broken?"
She can't tell if he's joking or not but she stubbornly shakes her head. He raises an eyebrow.
"No," she says, with a sigh. "I can take care of myself. I helped fight off an army of the undead a few weeks ago. You would've enjoyed it. Violence without repercussions. Or -- maybe not. I think you like the repercussions."
"You can take care of yourself," he repeats her words, letting them hang in the air for a moment. "You don't need us."
"But I miss everyone," Nina says, letting him be included in that for once. This familiar feeling towards him is comforting; the nostalgia of Ketterdam, frustration, anger, grudging respect, and perhaps the tiniest touch of hatred. Kaz Brekker is a complicated man and dredges up some complicated feelings.
"Missing is different than needing."
Nina sighs. He's right. As usual. She doesn't need them. She doesn't even need Matthias anymore, she realizes, with a start. The painful gaping hole in her heart is still there but it's been papered over. Another visit from Matthias would have possibly torn it open again. "Do you want a tour of this place?" She asks, extending an olive branch for her previous yelling and insults. She's sure he doesn't care, though; the Bastard of the Barrel has heard much worse.
"Lead the way."
"Don't steal anything," she says, eyeing him as he spreads his hands out as if to say who me?. She starts walking and then whirls around again. "And don't murder anyone. Or even maim. Okay?" He raises an eyebrow again. No promises. "At least only a light maiming and only if they deserve it," she adds.
They walk back towards the mansion together in silence for a few minutes. "No mourners," he says out of the blue, so quietly that she can barely hear him.
"No funerals," she replies, the familiar saying catching in her throat just the slightest.
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