ravkanwitch | [[open post and announcement: no mourners, no funerals]]

[cw: discussion of death!]

Nina knows that word of Shen Yuan's death has been slowly spreading. She tried to put out a general warning of danger right after it happened... but she's not sure how many people were warned by it. She wasn't in the right mind at the time, after all. This time, she's more careful and collected. With SecUnit's help, she's alerted and gathered everyone who's interested for an important announcement in the lobby of the mansion. Despite all appearances of bossiness and stubbornness - all quite true - Nina has never been in charge of anything so serious. Kaz, Zoya, and the King himself; she followed their lead. As people slowly begin to gather and she attempts to compose herself, she wonders why she decided to put herself up to this.

Deep breath, Zenik. Pretend that - well, that this is pretend. She's back in the orphanage as the official greeter, making an important announcement to all the other children. She's the governor of a small town, making sure that all the citizens are aware and prepared. It does have to be her, after all. She's playing a crucial role in everything. She also doesn't want anyone else to carry the emotional load.

"Hi," she tells everyone gathered, trying to paste on a somber but not-too-morose expression. "Thanks for coming. I'm sure some of you have heard part of this announcement already and I'm sorry that it took so long to pass this information onto everyone else... but there was an incident not too long ago. We're not sure what caused it, whether it was the house or whether it was an individual, but... Shen Yuan is dead." There's most likely a reaction at this point and Nina forges onwards as confidently as she can, pitching her voice above the hubbub.

"But there is a way that he can return. We're sure of it. We're just trying to figure out the details, which might take a while. If you want to know more about that, you can ask Magnus, but I'm not sure how much he can tell you. Also, if you encounter any signs of Shen Yuan's spirit, you can talk to--" Here she meets Aleksander's eyes almost instinctively; this line of conversation is something she's purposefully kept from him. "You can talk to myself. Or... to Lan Wangji. ...That's all. Thank you."

A confident start but slightly deflated by her last few sentences, Nina steps back and allows for conversation to happen. If anyone would like to speak to her, she's looking much less strained and grim than she has in a while.

[[Feel free to post a single comment reaction and/or start a thread with Nina in the comments!]]

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Nina gives a little twist of her lips that clearly says no in a very teenager fashion. "I've been trying." That's not a lie.

He gives her another hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll bring some dinner by for you tonight." He's probably going to be bringing food to a lot of people tonight.

"Thank you," Nina tells him in a small voice, the tears starting to well up in her eyes. No, Zenik. She tells herself. Not in front of everyone. Not when you've been so strong so far!

“I’m really sorry that you and Magnus have been put in the position of having to tell us all.” They’re both so young.

At this, Nina starts tearing up and she quickly dashes at her eyes with the balls of her hands. "No, it's alright," she still protests, "both of us have been through a lot. We can take it."

He's even more sorry that they've both already been through a lot. It's not fair. He hugs her again, tight. He can tell she's trying not to cry. "It's okay if you need to cry. Look, I've got two very empty shoulders, perfect for crying on."

Nina is trying to not cry, quite bravely, but she has that itching feeling in her sinuses that indicates she's about to burst into tears. She does.

His grip tightens around her. "It's going to be okay."

Nina lets herself cry into his shoulder, all the while thinking that it's silly. Why cry when there's finally a way back for Shen Yuan? But that's always been the case for her. Frustration. Relief. Exhaustion. Those are the moments when she cries. Not when Inej was on the brink of death -- but when Inej was recovering and joking with her. Not when she met The Darkling for the first time at the mansion -- but when she was exhausted after a long first day and Claudius was pressing her for her name.

After a long minute, she pulls back, eyes blotchy and hair slightly tangled. "I'm sorry," she tells him.

"Nina, my sweet, you don't need to apologize. Never apologize for emotions."

"I always cry at the wrong moments," she says, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeves now. "I'm sorry my emotions don't make sense," she says, with a helpless little laugh.

"Emotions don't have to make sense. Sense is overrated anyway. But you shouldn't be ashamed to feel them, regardless." It's good to feel emotions, even the bad ones when they happen.

"Right," Nina says, patting away the last of the tears. Her cheeks are still slightly flushed but otherwise she looks slightly better than when she first started the meeting. "The problem sometimes is too many emotions. Conflicting ones, even. But... I'm happy there's a way back for Shen Yuan."

"If you get a chance, try doing something active, where you can let all of those emotions out. With any luck it'll wear you out enough to let you sleep a few hours without waking up, too. My old go-to is dancing, but I understand that's maybe not for everyone. But if you can find something where you get to move around a lot and cry, it often helps." See, this is why he needs a few of his maenads here. They could just round everyone up outside in the field and dance until everyone felt a little better.

"Whenever Grisha use their abilities, it technically... makes them feel better. More youthful and less tired. I could get a couple of frog skeletons together and make them dance," she suggests, weakly, though she's now hiding a small smile.

He’s suddenly very pale. “You should,” he says anyway though. “If it’ll help.”

"I'm kidding," she says gently, suddenly feeling a little guilty. "But that made me feel better, if that helps."

"About the whole thing, or just about the frogs, specifically?"

"The frogs. We almost used them as a distraction at the orgy." Nina is back on firmer ground, remembering better times. That seems like so long ago, now, that they were all happily celebrating the end of Dark.

Dionysus rolls his eyes. "Well thank you for not doing that. Though I still haven't been able to discover where my dress ran off to." He thought Mercutio probably had it, now he's thinking there's a distinct possibility Nina stashed it somewhere. RIP dress, gone but never forgotten.

Nina gives a little giggle at this, though it comes out something like a hiccup. "The color looked good on Mercutio," she says, innocently.

"It doesn't even fit him, he can get his own gold dress if he wants one that badly."

Dionysus doesn't actually care all that much about the dress, but it's good to see Nina in better spirits.

"At least you're about the same height," she offers.

[[open post and announcement: no mourners, no funerals]]

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