[closed post: a task]

[ravkanwitch]

Nina has been feeling more like herself recently. It's taken a few weeks of self care, a failed waffle experiment, many naps with Khitka, a history lesson from Kade, quality time with friends, and a few mildly distressing conversations with alternate versions of people that she knows – but she's okay. She'll be much better once Shen Yuan is back of course, but for now, she'll do what she does best and weather the storm.

There are few things she's considering in her mind but right now, she's flipping through some language books with Khitka curled around the back of her neck, dozing.

Comments

[ravkanwitch]

Nina nods. "I've only ever been trained in the Small Sciences, using my Heartrender abilities to fight... and minimal training in healing and tailoring."

[lightbearinglord]

"Both are valuable abilities," Lan Wangji says, sincere. "A person cannot only do battle."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina hesitates for a second. "Hanguang-jun, could I tell you a secret?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Lan Wangji turns to look at her, quiet and waiting.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina typically does not have any trouble talking about her feelings, but this is clearly a difficult subject for her. "When I was a Heartrender," she begins quietly, turning to look at an ornamental golden sword rather than meeting his eyes, "I felt more useful. I could heal people, like Magnus can. I could help with anxiety or -- or even tell when someone was lying. It's not that I hate being a Corpsewitch. I embraced it for a while... but here, it feels so useless. There's not even anything properly dead here. I just miss--"

She squeezes one hand, as if feeling someone else's pulse. Having those abilities made her feel more connected, more part of the community, more wanted. That was what made Kaz seek her out and bring her into the fold of the Crows, wasn't it? "A small part of me was... hoping I would have to use the parem to bring Shen Yuan back and then... maybe it would work in reverse and I'd get those abilities back."

[lightbearinglord]

Because Nina is almost always so direct, when she averts her gaze, Lan Wangji realizes immediately that this is not an easy thing for her to say. He angles himself to face her and to listen. He can understand -- much of his own usefulness in his previous life was tied to the dead, to subduing them or liberating them or merely communicating with them. He struggled to find purpose here, when helping was no longer synonymous with those things. "Was there a chance the parem would change your abilities again? Is that a known effect of using it a second time?"

[ravkanwitch]

She swallows, once. "There's a refined version of it now and the antidote has saved the lives of many Grisha but I think I was the first person to survive taking it," she tells him, a quiet admission that it is a dangerous substance, but still a deep-lying stubbornness around the antidote being effective and working. "Unfortunately, the only countries experimenting with it are the countries we don't want experimenting with it..."

[lightbearinglord]

His expression sharpens into something grimmer, but he doesn't comment on that admission. He is uninterested in arguing again. He still has the jurda parem, and they both know he won't give it up. They're fortunate that it's no longer under consideration. "Mn. Of course." He lets a moment pass. "I understand. Usefulness can feel imperative."

[ravkanwitch]

"That's why I think finding this sword would help give me something to focus on," she continues, turning the conversation back to safer ground. "Sagramore said he would take me through the basics. Well -- he said that there are far better people here to take me through the basics of swordplay but he would do it if I wanted him to." A very Sagramore statement.

[lightbearinglord]

It is very characteristic of Sagramore, and it makes Lan Wangji just as characteristically fond and exasperated at precisely the same time. He hasn't crossed blades with Sagramore, but perhaps he should propose it. "I am willing to teach you, too, but you should ask Sagramore first."

[ravkanwitch]

"I did and I'm taking his answer as yes, Lady Nina, I would love to teach thee thy sword basics," Nina says firmly, with a quite stellar impression of Sagramore to boot. "Though I think once I progress beyond the basics, maybe either you or Gideon...?" Or both. She leaves this open-ended, though. He's clearly willing to help her go looking for a sword and they're on speaking terms now, but she outright asked him to. She's still not certain where their friendship lies.

[lightbearinglord]

He is, conversely, slightly surprised by her lack of certainty. "Galahad and I train each morning at chen hour. Seven o'clock. You are welcome to join us whenever you like."

[ravkanwitch]

She gives him a genuine smile. "I would love that."

[lightbearinglord]

The thought of having multiple students again, even intermittently -- he suspects Nina will not be joining them every morning as early as chen hour -- is heartening. He doesn't smile in return, but his eyes are soft for a moment. Then he looks up and around them. "What sort of sword do you want?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina is not a morning person at all so once she does have a sword and learns the basics, she will most likely miss it more than make it, but she will try.

"I'm imagining something in mid-range for size and weight." Her arms are strong from using them as part of the Small Sciences, but she is not as in shape as some of the other sword fighters are. "With bone or ivory for the handle? What do you think?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Bone is lighter than ivory," Lan Wangji says. If weight is a concern, that is worth considering. "I am most familiar with one-handed sword techniques."

[ravkanwitch]

"So a mid-range weight and length with a bone handle. That way I could call it to me, if I needed to," Nina summarizes. "Why don't we look around?"

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji nods in agreement. Nina's requirements are so specific that he imagines she will find it only if the mansion is feeling accommodating; he hopes that it is. Circumstances have been difficult enough recently. He was made to deny Nina something she wanted very badly. He wants to see her receive something else she wants.

With that, he crosses to the nearest closed cabinet and opens it, waiting to see what swords lurk within.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina found the dinosaur bones in a set of drawers, so hoping that she's similarly lucky, she heads to the nearest set of drawers and opens one. Instead of swords, she's found a set of beautiful throwing knives with intricate etchings on the blades. Oh, Inej would love those.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji, in the meantime, has found an array of two-handed sabers, which is a finding that makes him frown, mildly discomfited. He is not in the mood for the mansion to play games, and certainly not of this variety. The sabers are massive, with long blades and even longer grips, and not remotely suited to Nina. Irritably, he shuts the cabinet again.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina, unfortunately, is quite easily distracted and enthralled -- especially by shiny things, and she has found a set of throwing stars. The edges are quite sharp and she's pricked herself already, but she's holding one of them up curiously. "What are these?"

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji turns from the cabinet to see what Nina is holding. Interested, he takes one from her, then glances down with a minuscule frown at where she's injured herself. "Are you hurt?"

[ravkanwitch]

"No, I'm fine," she reassures him. There's just a small dot of blood on the wound and after he takes the star, she digs around in her pockets for a handkerchief to blot it up.

[lightbearinglord]

His immediate impulse is to help, but it truly is a small injury and he is wary of pushing too hard at her boundaries so soon. He examines the weapon she has handed him instead, turning it -- carefully -- in his hand. "I have not seen this before."

[ravkanwitch]

She holds the handkerchief tight against the cut, not worried in the slightest herself. It doesn't seem to be bleeding heavily at all. "I wonder if you throw it ...or perhaps it's a projectile, thrown by something else."