[open post!]

[ravkanwitch]

Nina misses Ketterdam.

Make no mistake, she is Ravkan through and through; her pride for her country is one of her largest defining features (and she has many delightful defining features). But when she allows herself a moment to think, it is the hustle and bustle of Ketterdam that she misses. The ships in the harbor, the vendors hawking in the Barrel, the shops, the friends, the noise, the friends--

There’s always a weariness to the initial dance of friendship. Of her new acquaintances, only two are aware of her abilities and only one of them - Shen Qingqiu - even has an inkling of their full extent. Fortunately, that also means there’s room to grow…

She’s found hot chocolate and now she’s seated somewhere, sipping at it and reminiscing about Ketterdam, wondering what Inej and Jesper and Kaz and everyone must be doing right now.

Comments

[ravkanwitch]

"Thank you," Nina says, genuinely. "And... I will absolutely take you up on the cooking offer."

The second statement is spoken gently, jokingly to lighten the intense mood as much as she can. "I did speak with Shen Qingqiu, by the way," she says, offhandedly.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe's expression doesn't change, but his body goes rigid. "And how did you find him?"

[ravkanwitch]

"He seemed... well." There's a little pause before the word 'well'. Dead? Crazy? Though the main interpretation Luo Binghe could probably get from this pause is that he's ...unwell. "He spoke of you too."

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe's stomach clenches anxiously. The Shen Qingqiu he knew had nothing but insults for him, but the Shen Qingqiu here spoke of him fondly, calling him good and capable. Might he have said similar things to Nina...? "What did he say?"

[ravkanwitch]

“He says… that it’s difficult for you to trust him. And he understands that.” Nina pulls her legs up onto the couch and wraps her arms around them. “I told him about Matthias. It was difficult for us to trust each other at first, but… we had parallel, cross-crossing lives for a reason.”

[protagonisthalo]

"It is difficult for me to trust him." It would be even harder if Luo Binghe didn't know Shen Qingqiu so well, well enough to know him incapable of acting so sweet, even as a deception. "It's hard for me to imagine how the same man, even borne from different circumstances, could be so changed. But you grew to trust... Matthias?"

It's a name Luo Binghe hasn't heard before. He longs to know everything about Nina, but what she's told him already seemed difficult for her to speak of. If she wants to say more, he's sure she will. It's not like she could possibly have built a deeper bond of friendship with Shen Qingqiu than with him.

[ravkanwitch]

“We came from rival countries and there was so much hatred between us. We came close to killing each other many times, believe me,” she says, with a little laugh. “But we grew to trust each other. Even …to love each other.”

[protagonisthalo]

Is it so obvious, then, the secret hopes he harbors about Shen Qingqiu? Maybe he should tell her what he hasn't told anyone, not even his wives. He thought at the time that it was too improbable to be believed, but in this context...

"There's an aspect of our history that not even he knows. This is not the first time I've found myself in a world other than my own. About half a year ago, I inadvertently swapped places with a version of myself from another world, one who had had different experiences. Just as the Shen Qingqiu I knew had a different life from the one who resides in this manor now. In that place..." He flushes warm, remembering it. The way Shen Qingqiu curled up by him and slept through the night in his arms. Shen Qingqiu combing through his hair, his quick fingers adding a little braid while Luo Binghe sat disbelieving. The way Shen Qingqiu melted under his attentions, before somehow realizing the mistake. "There was a Shen Qingqiu, and a Luo Binghe. And they were—intimate. I could hardly believe it... But it was impossible to deny the affection they shared. Seeing it, I felt..." Like for the first time in years, there was something he simply couldn't have. "I couldn't believe it could really make the other version of me happy. But I could see that it did. I haven't stopped thinking about it. And now, here I am trapped with a third Shen Qingqiu, wondering which paths are open between us." He stops, suddenly afraid just having spoken the words, as if acknowledging the possibility might tempt fate to take it from him.

[ravkanwitch]

“My path with Matthias has ended - but it sounds like you’re fortunate that all paths are open for you and Shen Qingqiu,” Nina says, a little grimly at first but then turning into a smile. “You shouldn’t squander it.”

[protagonisthalo]

It's such a kind, comforting response to something that had felt so incendiary to express. Somehow, with his feelings out in the open between them, it is easier to tolerate them. "Thank you, dearest Nina. Your advice is invaluable. I wish for happier paths in the future for you as well."