[closed post: a task]

[ravkanwitch]

Nina has been feeling more like herself recently. It's taken a few weeks of self care, a failed waffle experiment, many naps with Khitka, a history lesson from Kade, quality time with friends, and a few mildly distressing conversations with alternate versions of people that she knows – but she's okay. She'll be much better once Shen Yuan is back of course, but for now, she'll do what she does best and weather the storm.

There are few things she's considering in her mind but right now, she's flipping through some language books with Khitka curled around the back of her neck, dozing.

Comments

[ravkanwitch]

"I've decided to stay out of it the best that I can," she tells him firmly. "Now that I know there's a way back for Shen Yuan... That's what I needed to know. I'm not someone who can play mindgames, not like Claudius and Kaz can."

[lightbearinglord]

"Nor am I." He has neither the skill nor the inclination. That is Claudius' purview, and Lan Wangji trusts him with it. "I have my sword for when the time comes."

[ravkanwitch]

"Oh," Nina says, suddenly reminded by his words. "I meant to look for a bone sword. Just in case-- something happens and I need to fight again."

[lightbearinglord]

Naturally, Lan Wangji's interest is piqued. "Would the armory provide such a blade?"

[ravkanwitch]

"I don't see why not... Laertes and I have already done some research. There are bones big enough for the blade -- dinosaur bones -- but I think bone would be too fragile unless it was reinforced. I've also found pictures of swords with ivory for the pommel."

[lightbearinglord]

"I think Lancelot will not mind if we look." He pauses for a sliver of a moment. "What is a dinosaur?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina blinks for one moment, slightly derailed. "Oh-- Laertes and I discovered what they were when we were looking at the bones as well. They're giant lizards that, apparently, used to roam the planet Earth. We can stop by the library on the way to the armory, if you'd like."

[lightbearinglord]

"The armory is in the basement. I will look up dinosaurs another time." It's not a dismissal. He will remember. Now that there is a goal, Lan Wangji stands, smooths out the skirt of his robe, and waits for Nina.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina's ready for him to lead the way and Khitka scampers up onto her shoulders as well, clearly noticing that they're about to head somewhere. She hopes there's food there.

[lightbearinglord]

The basement is an occasionally mysterious place. Food is not out of the realm of possibility. Lan Wangji proceeds toward the appropriate set of stairs. As with many of its rooms, the mansion tends to be cooperative about the location of the armory.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina hasn't been to the armory yet, since she hasn't had a reason to. She's only been to the bone and taxidermied animal room a couple of times as well as done some fencing practice. "Are you skilled at any other weapon than your sword?" She asks curiously, gazing around them.

[lightbearinglord]

"My qin is also a weapon." He has rarely been to the armory himself, because he has no need for any weapons beyond what he already has, but he does enjoy the wide array of blades on offer. Many of them, he knows now, had not yet been invented during his time. "I am a decent archer."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina nods. "I've only ever been trained in the Small Sciences, using my Heartrender abilities to fight... and minimal training in healing and tailoring."

[lightbearinglord]

"Both are valuable abilities," Lan Wangji says, sincere. "A person cannot only do battle."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina hesitates for a second. "Hanguang-jun, could I tell you a secret?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Lan Wangji turns to look at her, quiet and waiting.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina typically does not have any trouble talking about her feelings, but this is clearly a difficult subject for her. "When I was a Heartrender," she begins quietly, turning to look at an ornamental golden sword rather than meeting his eyes, "I felt more useful. I could heal people, like Magnus can. I could help with anxiety or -- or even tell when someone was lying. It's not that I hate being a Corpsewitch. I embraced it for a while... but here, it feels so useless. There's not even anything properly dead here. I just miss--"

She squeezes one hand, as if feeling someone else's pulse. Having those abilities made her feel more connected, more part of the community, more wanted. That was what made Kaz seek her out and bring her into the fold of the Crows, wasn't it? "A small part of me was... hoping I would have to use the parem to bring Shen Yuan back and then... maybe it would work in reverse and I'd get those abilities back."

[lightbearinglord]

Because Nina is almost always so direct, when she averts her gaze, Lan Wangji realizes immediately that this is not an easy thing for her to say. He angles himself to face her and to listen. He can understand -- much of his own usefulness in his previous life was tied to the dead, to subduing them or liberating them or merely communicating with them. He struggled to find purpose here, when helping was no longer synonymous with those things. "Was there a chance the parem would change your abilities again? Is that a known effect of using it a second time?"

[ravkanwitch]

She swallows, once. "There's a refined version of it now and the antidote has saved the lives of many Grisha but I think I was the first person to survive taking it," she tells him, a quiet admission that it is a dangerous substance, but still a deep-lying stubbornness around the antidote being effective and working. "Unfortunately, the only countries experimenting with it are the countries we don't want experimenting with it..."

[lightbearinglord]

His expression sharpens into something grimmer, but he doesn't comment on that admission. He is uninterested in arguing again. He still has the jurda parem, and they both know he won't give it up. They're fortunate that it's no longer under consideration. "Mn. Of course." He lets a moment pass. "I understand. Usefulness can feel imperative."

[ravkanwitch]

"That's why I think finding this sword would help give me something to focus on," she continues, turning the conversation back to safer ground. "Sagramore said he would take me through the basics. Well -- he said that there are far better people here to take me through the basics of swordplay but he would do it if I wanted him to." A very Sagramore statement.

[lightbearinglord]

It is very characteristic of Sagramore, and it makes Lan Wangji just as characteristically fond and exasperated at precisely the same time. He hasn't crossed blades with Sagramore, but perhaps he should propose it. "I am willing to teach you, too, but you should ask Sagramore first."

[ravkanwitch]

"I did and I'm taking his answer as yes, Lady Nina, I would love to teach thee thy sword basics," Nina says firmly, with a quite stellar impression of Sagramore to boot. "Though I think once I progress beyond the basics, maybe either you or Gideon...?" Or both. She leaves this open-ended, though. He's clearly willing to help her go looking for a sword and they're on speaking terms now, but she outright asked him to. She's still not certain where their friendship lies.

[lightbearinglord]

He is, conversely, slightly surprised by her lack of certainty. "Galahad and I train each morning at chen hour. Seven o'clock. You are welcome to join us whenever you like."

[ravkanwitch]

She gives him a genuine smile. "I would love that."