[closed post: a task]

[ravkanwitch]

Nina has been feeling more like herself recently. It's taken a few weeks of self care, a failed waffle experiment, many naps with Khitka, a history lesson from Kade, quality time with friends, and a few mildly distressing conversations with alternate versions of people that she knows – but she's okay. She'll be much better once Shen Yuan is back of course, but for now, she'll do what she does best and weather the storm.

There are few things she's considering in her mind but right now, she's flipping through some language books with Khitka curled around the back of her neck, dozing.

Comments

[ravkanwitch]

"I had to learn how to be in order to feel halfway comfortable here," she says softly. What's an argument between friends -- albeit an intense one -- when she's personally seen Aleksander's handiwork and had to contend with that knowledge? She's mostly forgiven him, she thinks. Or at least, has been able to reconcile his past, present, and alternate future selves.

[lightbearinglord]

It might be easier, in some ways, if Lan Wangji could forgive like that. If he could pass Luo Binghe in the hall and feel fear but not anger, if he could think of Jiang Wanyin without protective rage as sharp and sudden as the crack of a whip, if he could remember his father with idle disinterest rather than nearly forty years of festering disappointment. He is not made that way, but he is grateful to be the beneficiary of Nina's forgiveness. "For my own sake, I'm glad."

[ravkanwitch]

For that, Nina gives him a brilliantly genuine smile. "What? You want to keep talking to little old me?" Her tone is teasing, gentle.

[lightbearinglord]

"If you will allow it." His own voice is perfectly serious, the kind of unimpeachable solemnity that means he is teasing in return.

[ravkanwitch]

"Hmm," she puts a finger to her chin and taps, considering it for a moment. "I might just do that." They're not out of the woods yet; there's still a lot that they could discuss -- but this feels nice, to have a moment of levity in the middle.

[lightbearinglord]

"Thank you," Lan Wangji says. He remains serious, and although this isn't an effort to disrupt the surprisingly light mood of this moment they're sharing, it is a sincere sentiment, too. He could have withstood losing Nina's regard, and he was prepared to, but he would have regretted it.

[ravkanwitch]

"How does everyone else seem to be coping?" She asks him, slightly more serious. She's checked in with her people -- but they have different people. Even though the threat is now known, it's still hanging over their heads.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji considers the question, and his people along with it, still kneeling on the floor before her. "It is better to know that a person did this, not the house," he says. "We have a target and we will have a plan, in time." He lets himself soften with some subdued fondness. "I believe Claudius is enjoying the game, despite the circumstances."

[ravkanwitch]

"I've decided to stay out of it the best that I can," she tells him firmly. "Now that I know there's a way back for Shen Yuan... That's what I needed to know. I'm not someone who can play mindgames, not like Claudius and Kaz can."

[lightbearinglord]

"Nor am I." He has neither the skill nor the inclination. That is Claudius' purview, and Lan Wangji trusts him with it. "I have my sword for when the time comes."

[ravkanwitch]

"Oh," Nina says, suddenly reminded by his words. "I meant to look for a bone sword. Just in case-- something happens and I need to fight again."

[lightbearinglord]

Naturally, Lan Wangji's interest is piqued. "Would the armory provide such a blade?"

[ravkanwitch]

"I don't see why not... Laertes and I have already done some research. There are bones big enough for the blade -- dinosaur bones -- but I think bone would be too fragile unless it was reinforced. I've also found pictures of swords with ivory for the pommel."

[lightbearinglord]

"I think Lancelot will not mind if we look." He pauses for a sliver of a moment. "What is a dinosaur?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina blinks for one moment, slightly derailed. "Oh-- Laertes and I discovered what they were when we were looking at the bones as well. They're giant lizards that, apparently, used to roam the planet Earth. We can stop by the library on the way to the armory, if you'd like."

[lightbearinglord]

"The armory is in the basement. I will look up dinosaurs another time." It's not a dismissal. He will remember. Now that there is a goal, Lan Wangji stands, smooths out the skirt of his robe, and waits for Nina.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina's ready for him to lead the way and Khitka scampers up onto her shoulders as well, clearly noticing that they're about to head somewhere. She hopes there's food there.

[lightbearinglord]

The basement is an occasionally mysterious place. Food is not out of the realm of possibility. Lan Wangji proceeds toward the appropriate set of stairs. As with many of its rooms, the mansion tends to be cooperative about the location of the armory.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina hasn't been to the armory yet, since she hasn't had a reason to. She's only been to the bone and taxidermied animal room a couple of times as well as done some fencing practice. "Are you skilled at any other weapon than your sword?" She asks curiously, gazing around them.

[lightbearinglord]

"My qin is also a weapon." He has rarely been to the armory himself, because he has no need for any weapons beyond what he already has, but he does enjoy the wide array of blades on offer. Many of them, he knows now, had not yet been invented during his time. "I am a decent archer."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina nods. "I've only ever been trained in the Small Sciences, using my Heartrender abilities to fight... and minimal training in healing and tailoring."

[lightbearinglord]

"Both are valuable abilities," Lan Wangji says, sincere. "A person cannot only do battle."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina hesitates for a second. "Hanguang-jun, could I tell you a secret?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Lan Wangji turns to look at her, quiet and waiting.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina typically does not have any trouble talking about her feelings, but this is clearly a difficult subject for her. "When I was a Heartrender," she begins quietly, turning to look at an ornamental golden sword rather than meeting his eyes, "I felt more useful. I could heal people, like Magnus can. I could help with anxiety or -- or even tell when someone was lying. It's not that I hate being a Corpsewitch. I embraced it for a while... but here, it feels so useless. There's not even anything properly dead here. I just miss--"

She squeezes one hand, as if feeling someone else's pulse. Having those abilities made her feel more connected, more part of the community, more wanted. That was what made Kaz seek her out and bring her into the fold of the Crows, wasn't it? "A small part of me was... hoping I would have to use the parem to bring Shen Yuan back and then... maybe it would work in reverse and I'd get those abilities back."